What’s next?

For the past months I have basically planned to stay put for a while. I figured I would work and take a few classes over the summer. I was hoping to finish school earlier and be in somewhat of a good financial situation where I can do full-time missions after graduations….
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.-Psalms 19:21

My plans have not worked accordingly thus far so I’m not sure why I even continue to make them haha.
I’m moving schools next year. I will (prayerfully) be entering in a Nursing Program Fall 2013. Who knows God may mix things up on me again…

That being said, it turns out that there is no need for me to take summer classes. I said to myself “I can work full-time and make extra money.” Good plan I thought. Nope. One of my teammates from this summer text me and after our “how are you” conversations she told me that she is moving to the Philippines in June…for two year!!! I didn’t see it coming but at the same time I wasn’t surprised at the way God has worked in her life. I was overjoyed and incredibly happy for her! I replied “I WANT TO COME!” she said “I want you to come with me!”

That’s when the clouds opened and the sun beams shone down on me!!…Okay so it wasn’t that dramatic but I realized that I had no obligations this summer (besides earning money..but that can wait). I knew I could not go for a full two months like I did last summer…but a month would be wonderful. My mind went crazy with planning out flights, coming up with money, and talking to the director of Gentle Hands…oh and breaking the news to my parents.
I was sure this was the right choice when I email the director of Gentle Hands to ask about coming to work again and she replied “IN A HEART BEAT! COME!!!!”

After my rush of excitement and energy I started thinking about it…and realized I need to pray about it and make sure this is what the Lord wanted for me and not what I wanted for me…
I came to the conclusion that I would start fund-raising…but not like I did last time. I decided not to write support letters but instead work for the money. I’m trying to come up with more creative ways to earn the money. If I raised the money I will go. If I don’t raise the money I will send ever last penny of it to Gentle Hands. I’m praying that I will be able to raise the money and extra money to give to Gentle Hands as well.

My mom says “Hannah, you know there are places just like that in America?”Yes I do know that..but I have a heart to go. There are so many people who do not have the same desire in their heart to go like I do. Therefore, they can stay and use their abilities here… As for me, I will go.

Whenever and wherever God opens the door for me

My first fundraiser. $10 handmade Christmas ornaments. Thank you to everyone who has been so gracious to buy and support me!

BY THE WAY THESE THREE BABES HAVE BEEN ADOPTED! PRAISE GOD!

(Charlotte-Philippines )

(Ken-New Zealand)

(Benjamin-Australia)

Pray from their life journeys and their new forever family.

Pray for forever families for the other children. Pray for Gentle Hands.

Pray for my friend Chylsea who is moving to the Philippines for two years.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.-Lamentations 3:22-23

The bigger purpose

I’m back in America. I’m home and can say that there is truly no place like it.

It has taken me a long time to process and to be able to write this without falling apart.

I thought that after two debrief meetings I would be okay jumping right in to this world and being able to answer someone when they asked me how my summer went…but boy was I wrong. I did okay for the first day and started questioning if the culture of the Philippines was really all that different from my own because I hadn’t experienced re-entry culture shock like I had been expecting.

Sunday morning I woke up early, got ready for church, and continued with my American Sunday routine. I went to Sunday school and sadly answered the question “how was your summer?” with “good!”
What an understatement that is!!! I tried to follow it up with “it’s a different world there” but pretty much that was the extent of my sharing. You lose people after a while and really…I have so many stories I could talk for a whole day…where should I start? After giving this answer to a large number of people it really started to set in…that it didn’t matter how many stories I tell them, the terrible past of the children I cared for, or the extremely horrible condition thousands of children still living there are in…they can’t relate. They haven’t seen what I’ve seen and really the passion I have for telling the stories slowly dies when I see that I noticed I losing the attention of those who I decided to share with. So here I was in the middle of my church, right before service started, and the tears started, the anger started, the re-entry culture shock appeared. I couldn’t believe the vast number of believers I was surrounded by…that was the biggest group I had been around in two months…I was completely overwhelmed at that time. I went to the bathroom and tried to collect myself before I went into service. I tried to find my parents so I could sit with them instead of upfront with my friends…couldn’t find them…the tears stopped for a moment so I took a seat up front by some friends. However, when the choir started the tears started coming like a fountain. I couldn’t stop and I know my friends where worried and they didn’t know what to say or do…I was looking for an escape.

For a few weeks after I kept to myself. Sadly, ignoring my friends and clinging to my family. After a few weeks of being home I had to start my sophomore year of college. I found peace in sharing my experience in front of people. I have had the privilege of speaking at different churches. Showing pictures and telling the stories of the children and advocating for adopting. I know the stories reached the people when at the end of each presentation there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. They got it. They got to see my heart. There was nothing else I could have asked for.

Thank you, Jesus. I was asked several questions about adopting; most that I could not answer only redirect them to find the information elsewhere. Even if they didn’t decide to adopt right now, I know that the seed was planted in the hearts and minds. That was the bigger purpose God had planned for me coming back from the Philippines.
To share what their stories and advocate for their adoption. Pray for Gentle Hands.

Two and a half weeks left

Sorry it has been so long since my last post! Even right now I’m having to use an iPod to write this. I’ve been able to Skype with at parents and sisters a few times but for the most part I’m trying to stay away from Facebook. Homesickness sets in really easily.Hopefully I can add pictures to go along with this post later!

When we started working here didn’t know any of the kids stories. We only find out if we have a  few minutes to ask someone, which is pretty rare. I asked about a habit of a little girl in my nursery.  My heart was so heavy after I found out that this beautiful baby girl was physically and sexually abused since birth..she is almost two. This little girl has had more pain and hurt in 1.5 years of life than I have in 19 years of life. I wished more than anything that I could take all the pain and hurt she had to experience and give her a fresh start  to a good life she deserves. Of course, that is completely out of my control…she probably won’t remember all the beatings she got or the face of her father who did these things to her, but her body does remember, that’s where the habits are coming from. She is obviously developmentally behind and emotionally different but over all she beautifully and wonderfully made. She is perfect. She is safe now and no one will ever be able to treat her like that again. I get to hug her and love her everyday and that is just what she needs.

God really does work in awesome ways. Two days after I found out about this girls story, a door opened up for us to attend a seminar at the Asia-Pacific Theological Seminary about how to deal with children who have experience trauma. Seriously, four days of learning about dealing with things that seem like a dream in my world but here they are reality. I live in a house with 65 children. Most, if not all, have experienced trauma. It was truly a God sent opportunity that we where able to attend this seminar.

After that went on a three day vacation to Puerto Galera beach on the island of Mindoro. It was beautiful and unreal. We met the other nanny teams there and have a great time catching up. It rained a lot but was still beautiful  and relaxing. However, I was happy to get back and see the kids. We got back late so the kids were already in bed except for a few. One boy saw me and said “You came back!!!” and gave me a big hug.

Which leads me to another story. After being here and seeing the one week teams come and grow relationships with the kids and then have to leave….has been really…eye-opening for me. I expected to have relationships and attachments to the kids however I never really considered their side of it. They have teams come in, play with them, hug them, tell them they love them and then…the team leaves. I felt very convicted and selfish for a while because that seems so unfair to the kids. These kids have been through a lot and to see people leave that love them isn’t easy for them.

They may not remember me and we may never see each other ever again after this summer…but if just one kids out of 65 feels loved or special because I gave them a hug or simply told them to have sweet dreams and that I loved them before they went to bed…then that makes this whole summer worth it.

I love you all! Thank you for praying for my wonderful team

“All the peopl…

“All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the power of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?”-Daniel 4:35

Surprise! GOD can do whatever He wants! His way is the best way….even if we don’t think so.

This is the answer I got when I was searching the Word over for a reason why the children we visited in the squatter areas in Manila are suffering . Why were these kids covered in lice and boils and sores? Why are they malnourished? Why were they covered in and surrounded by their own feces?….Better question….why are they so happy?

God has shown me so much. Last Sunday was our first day to visit the squatter area (a.k.a poorest of the poorest area). We went to play with the kids, sing, and just have fun. Women literally would come up to us and give us there kids to hold just because we are white. On the ride home I was trying to think of way to get out of every going back. That was the moment when I was ready to go home. I was questioning my plans of becoming a missionary. I wished to go home to my friends and my normally life with my loving family and forget everything I had seen that day….but thankfully, that wish didn’t come true.

We brought home with us a precious two year old girl who was 3rd degree malnulrished with a belly full of worms and a beautiful, fragile 95 year old woman with two broken hips. Just a few more people added to the Gentle Hands household! (btw A LOT of people live here!) 

A few days later I got the chance to hear one of my teammates lead the 95 year old woman to Christ. She doesn’t speak a word of English, by the way. One of the Ate’s helped translate the whole time. I got to sit beside her and hold her tiny hand when we took turns singing praise songs in English and Tagalog. I was crying like crazy because I could picture this sweet lady walking by Jesus with a perfectly healed body. She is so ready to see Jesus. I am honestly a little jealous because she will get to see Him before I will. 

MONDAY…was our first day on shifts. Rachel and I are on the 9am shift over nursery 2 for 8 hours…

Moms will understand everything that comes with babies teething….well multiple that by nine…

Yes, NINE teething babies. Just to add a little more fun two of the nine have tuberculosis, and four with double ear infections….we were battling dehydration, 104 degree fevers, and some serious spiritual warfare. It really got funny the next day when one of our teammates got dehydrated and we had to pull 16 hour shifts in the nursery….hahaha….that was week one.

But no worries. Everything is good now. We have learned to cope with the stress. They children are beautiful and we are really working hard on teaching them to walk! It’s so excited. We are still pulling long shifts. But whenever I get the chance I help with the older kids school work and English. 

Yesterday was our second day in the squatter area. I had a complete change of heart and I just loved on some kids. 

I love it here. I love that it is never quite. I love to go downstairs early in the morning to say good morning to the older kids and give them hugs before they leave for school. I love playing soccer with them whenever I get a break from the nursery. I love my team. 

The food is good and the water is drinkable..which is a blessing in itself. 

I’m out of time again…Keep the prayers coming!!! Love you all!

 

 

What did I get myself into…

I MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is crazy that I am writing this from a preschool classroom in an orphanage in the Philippines.

I don’t have a lot of time because this is the first time I have been able to get a computer in my hands and my three other teammates are waiting for their turn!

Orientation was crazy…I don’t know if it was the time my team and I had to hide under a bridge during a “role play” raid when we were being chased by men shooting guns at us (blanks thankfully) or when I had to write a letter that would be given to my family in the event of my death on the mission Field that I realized I had completely lost my mind for doing the summer mission trip….They prepared us for the worst indeed…

My flights were great and long…I love flying!

(Beautiful sunrise over the ocean before we landed in Manila)

We arrived here around 6am yesterday morning. We were picked up by two guys that live in the orphanage. Almost instantly we realized that we were most definitely foreigners…practically aliens….I wish they would have told us to expect every Filipino to practically stop in their tracks and stare at us…I have never in my life felt so…exposed? If that word could explain the half of it. When I walk on the street I just tend to look down because  genuinely cannot handle everyone staring at me….I can’t wait for the day when I get use to it. I’m pretty sure we are considered the tall, fat, white, rich American rock-stars here. Even though we have only been here two days several people literally stopped their car in the road to wave and say hi to us.

When we got the tour of the orphanage basically all of the children started crying…again being white has not been in our favor. I was pretty broken down yesterday… was tired, confused, and we were all thrown in to work with a bunch of kids who didn’t want us to be around them…my whole team was struggling…we had a long time of prayer before we hit the sheets at 7pm.

Today…was great…the kids warmed up to us pretty quick! We got to take a few toddlers to this beautiful little park early this morning. (I will put up pictures hopefully). We got to teach, play, feed, and clean for most of the day. I don’t think I will ever get tired of the kids saying “Ate Honnah, Ate Honnah!” Which is like Miss Hannah..but ten times cuter in Tagalog.

We eat rice for legitamitely every meal…and suprisingly im okay with that because I realize there are no other options. OH and IT”S SO FLPPIN HOT HERE….I have already ajustedly to it really..I just had to accept that I will be dirty and sweaty all summer….the fact that we aren’t aloud to wear shoes either doesn’t make better. WE HAVE TO DRINK SO MUCH WATER.

BUT God is so good. We may not know our reason for being here yet…but he does….i’m thankful for my team.

I miss my family like crazy. But the kids love to hear about them so I take advantage of that!

Until next time, I love you all and am thankful for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where, What, and Why?

I am writing this post for the second time…long story I deleted my first blog…but im learning from my blogging mistakes! I’m trying to answer the most frequently asked questions about my trip. Expect weekly post as soon as I get settled in.

Where?

I am spending my summer in the Philippines. (I am not allowed to give specifics yet) I will be in a city not the rural parts of the island. This is a big deal because this will be my first international mission trip and my first time out of the country. I will be on a plane for a total 22 hours (3 flights)……I have never been remotely close to an airplane…so this should be fun. I am actually really excited! No nerves yet…yet.

What?

I will be serving in an orphanage for ten weeks. I leave TODAY!!!! The orphanage houses 40-55 kids ‘depending on the day,’ I was told. I am on a team with three other girls my age. We will work 6 days a week. Starting our days off early with changing diapers, feeding and holding children. We basically will get to love on them a lot! There will also be chores for us to do around the orphanage too im sure. I’ll post more details soon!

Why?

Obedience.

James 1:27-Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

Isaiah 1:17-Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

John 14:18 (Jesus telling His disciples that He would not leave them Fatherless, but that He would come for them) “I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you.”

Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.Commit your way to the LORD,Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,And your justice as the noonday.

 I knew I was called to mission several years ago. I have high hopes of finishing my degree in Nursing and some day go into the field full-time as an international  medical missionary.

I know I will be home sick. I know I will miss my family. I know it will be hard being so far away.

These are all reason that have drawn me near to this opportunity.

I have never been in a situation that I had to rely fully on God. I have always had family, church family, and friends right by my side. I did this to be broken down to the point where my relationship with Christ goes beyond my understanding. It doesn’t make sense to a lot of people! I have the full support of my parents and family (even though they are having a hard time with it right now.) I am grateful for the prayers and support I have received from everyone! Keep up the prayers!!!!